Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
