So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
