My cat gives me a boner
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
