Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize