I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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