windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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