It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
