Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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