i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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