Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
