we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
