Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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