How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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