so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
