Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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