i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
