ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
