Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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