as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
