Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
