how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
