Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You can't motorboat a personality
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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