Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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