I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
