Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Cover your peen. We're going out.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
