I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize