Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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