i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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