idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
