Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
