dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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