SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
