she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
there is puke in my bra ... again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize