So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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