Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
