I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
