she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
