its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
