I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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