omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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