walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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