How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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