Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
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My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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