dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
