Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
