The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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