between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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