You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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