your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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