Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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