Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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