i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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