I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
