I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
