OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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