you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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