Michael Bay diarrhea
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
