these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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