Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
