I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
