I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
