I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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