Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
