Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You dont lie about slip and slides
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
