booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
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Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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