he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
