Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
