So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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