Ketchup is God's man juice
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am available for nakedness
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
