why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
