What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i now understand why vodka
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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