Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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